Full Metal Horror 3 On Sale!

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.”- H.P. Lovecraft


FULL METAL HORROR 3 IS HERE!!!

Delve into the unfathomable immensity of the cosmos with these eighteen horrifying stories of sci fi terror.

Available now from Amazon in paperback and ebook: http://a-fwd.to/3O50iW9

Inside this bizarre and terrifying tome you’ll discover inter-dimensional aliens, man-eating plants, and giant ghost sperm.


Feel fear seep deep into your bones as the shadow of an unknown cosmic horror descends upon your soul.

Happy Birthday Bitcoin

In April, we wished Satoshi Nakamoto a happy birthday.

As you may know, Satoshi Nakamoto is an alias (not a real person but he does have a birthday).

If we can wish an alias a happy birthday, I think we can do the same for Bitcoin.

On 18th August 2008, the domain name Bitcoin.org was registered. Probably not the actual birthday of the Bitcoin, but we’ll take it as a memorable date and make the occasion.

Happy Birthday Bitcoin.

Publication Alert: Full Metal Horror III Pre-order

Awesome news this morning.

My story ‘Althea in Chains’ will be published in the forthcoming Full Metal Horror III: The Unknown.

The awesome team at Zombie Pirate Publishing came up with a great blurb:

Althea Swift might be a hero, but she faces her match as The Patriarch’s desire for purification threatens Photon City. With the inventive criminal Erasmus Otlet III and her experimental weapons, Althea will fight the devolved mutant minions of her foe. Can she foil The Patriarchs plan to release a gas which will dissolve all technology?

Full Metal Horror III goes live in September, but you can pre-order your copy here.

Full Metal Horror III Contents

Inspired or Insipid? The Mezzanine by Nicholson Baker

The Mezzanine by Nicholson Baker is the book about a ride up an escalator.

You did not incorrectly read that sentence. The entire novel takes place over the course of a ride up an escalator.

I have ridden up and down some interesting escalators in some interesting places. There are the super long escalators up and down the London underground. There are the escalators at the entrance of the Louvre. Neither of these escalators appear in Baker’s novel. His escalator is in an office building. Moving from the lobby up towards the office of the narrator’s mezzanine office to be exact.

What you are probably thinking is something exciting happens on the ride up the escalator? Maybe an action packed journey? Nope. Nothing like that.

Maybe the narrator discovers the meaning of life? The power of love or some other equally important intellectual or emotional discovery? Nope.

The narrator spends his time thinking about broken shoelaces and popcorn.

Yes, broken shoelaces and popcorn. And no, he doesn’t discover a way self-tying shoelace or a new flavour of popcorn. He just thinks about the frequency with which shoelaces break and why he bought some popcorn at lunch.

However, in all the potentially insipid mundanity of the narrator’s thoughts, there is a profound sense of personality. Not the kind of personality I’m going to invite over for drinks. It is more the action of experiencing the personality of another person that makes the novel interesting.

It will not be the most action packed read, but there is something close to thrilling about experiencing the thought processes of someone else. Let me know what you think.

Madness of Mission 6

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t go in for advertising, but this t-shirt design is just too awesome.

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So awesome, in fact, it was featured on an episode of Community worn by none other than Abed. It is a t shirt designed by Colie Travis Pitts (aka travis76).

The Madness of Mission 6

Apart from the design being awesome, it is the story the artist has developed that is inspired. It looks good and seems slightly familiar and you can’t quite put your finger on it until you look it up and find out the t-shirt not only has a story, but is being presented as the inspiration for Pac Man.

So, in the words of the t-shirt designer:

In 1976, Cosmonaut Nikolai Peckmann was sent alone to an orbiting space station for what would be called Mission Six- to study the radiation levels and strange circumstances that killed all four crewmen of the last research mission. By the third day, Peckmann’s broken transmissions were coming back to ground control filled with increasing paranoia and delusion. He claimed that the spirits of the dead cosmonauts were coming to claim him, and that he had to keep moving to evade them. He shouted that if he could capture consume these spirits himself while he still had strength, he could move to the next level of consciousness…Truly the rantings of an insane man. Indeed, video recovered later would show Peckmann running around the confined but maze-like station, downing emergency sedatives like a madman….pausing in a corner momentarily, only to throw back vitamin pills and give chase to his invisible demons. He had exhausted the entire cargo of vitamins, pills, and fresh fruit well ahead of schedule…It was determined that another mission to recover any remains or gather any more research would be a waste of the people’s money, and the station was allowed to drift out of orbit and into space- a failure never to be mentioned again. It was ordered and assumed that all video and paper evidence had been destroyed.

Outstanding work. I read it and for a moment I thought, “that sounds totally convincing.” Of course, there was no Peckmann….or was there?

Black Hare Press Publications

February might be a cold and short month, but I’m loving it.

Happy to announce the publication of four drabbles in two anthologies by Black Hare Press.

‘Golden Hour Killing’ and ‘Plans’ appear in the Love: A Dark Microfiction Anthology.

‘Monster’ and ‘In His Hands’ appear in Hate: A Dark Microfiction Anthology.

While I would never want to pick favorites, I’m going to say that ‘In His Hands’ and ‘Golden Hour Killing’ were my favourites.

For more of my publications check out Kittirakyn in Dark Dossier 34.

6 Underground

There are many things wrong with 6 Underground that the humour of Ryan Reynolds can’t hide, the worst might be the message about being a father.

SPOILERS: If you are saving the film for some depressing moment in your life when nothing other than a Michael Bay throwaway film can fix, read no further or be subject to the only reveal you might not have been expecting, if you cared at all. And no, it’s not that the movie does not contain any massive talking robots. Shame really.

The true spoiler is that you’ve watched the film at all…no wait, that’s not right.

The spoiler is that Reynolds’ character or One as he calls himself, is a father and has decided that instead of being a father and raising his child, he will run around the globe taking the law into his own hands. Of course, he is doing it because “it is the right thing to do”. I have no idea if he actually says that in the movie and I have no desire to watch it again to find out. It may seem like a very unprofessional thing for me to say. Shouldn’t I diligently watch the film again and find appropriate quotations? Probably.

But I’m not going to because the underlying message of

“run around with your friends after deserting the woman you love to raise your child”

doesn’t really sit well.

Otherwise, action sequences were good. Other characters were interesting (much more interesting that One, sorry Reynolds).

Do you know what I would really like to see?

I’ll tell you. A film with characters that say “I’m a selfish bastard with lots of money and I’m going to run around and do whatever I want.” Wait a minute. If I want to see that, I’ll just watch celebrity news.

If you fancy it, here is the trailer:

6 Underground Trailer

How to become a Sith

The easy answer is to how you become a Sith (apart from already having the ability to use the force) is you get angry or “give in to the hate.”

Exactly how and why you might give into the hate has a slightly surprising cause that you might not be aware of and might make more people Sith than Jedi.

The purchase of the Star Wars franchise by Disney has had the unexpected consequence of channeling the Disney agenda into the representation of Jedi and Sith. In particular, the Disney agenda makes it likely that more people will be turned to the dark side than remain Jedi.

Disney is well known for an antagonist representation of parents. How many movies start with a parent (more frequently a mother) getting killed or already being dead? More than I’m bothered to count.

As the continuing franchise exposes us to more and more force welding characters, a trend begins to appear and is linked to families. The original trilogy introduced Jedi without any mention of Sith. Darth Vader and the Emperor are merely Imperial and on the dark side. The prequel trilogy gave us an interesting insight into becoming a Jedi. Initially, Qui-Gon Jinn isn’t happy about taking on Anakin Skywalker because he is too old. We are introduced to the idea that the Jedi recruit children, removing them from their families and training them in the way of the force. This reinforces the idea of Jedi as a monastic order who are not allowed attachments or possessions. They are also not allowed to marry because it leads to the dark side. Therein lies the interesting element that is more likely to make you Sith than Jedi.

Have your parents or children ever annoyed you? It’s a rhetorical question. Of course they have. Looking at Jedi who have turned to the dark side you will find parents and children running around making the force wielding individuals so angry they just have to give in to the anger.

Anakin Skywalker has a mother who is killed by Sand People. He also has kids. Kylo Ren has parents and ends up the product of a broken home. Emperor Palpatine has a child who run off with his grandkid. Nothing is more likely to piss someone off than kids that can’t listen and won’t let you see your grandkids.

Rey is dropped off by her parents who then get killed meaning she just about makes it. Luke only has a sister and a nephew (not counting his aunt and uncle who die horrible deaths) and he has to live on a deserted island so he doesn’t turn into a dark side rage machine. Leia lays down the lightsaber before she becomes a Jedi because she knows. All the rest of the Jedis live in isolated locations (Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi) or are the product of the monastic isolation of kids from their families. Even Baby Yoda is devoid of parents being carted around by the Mandalorian and emotionless guardian rather than a parent.

Disney didn’t start the trend, but the last three Star Wars films have certainly compacted the trend and leads to a unanimous conclusion, if you are Jedi, ditch the parents and don’t even think about kids because they are send you straight to the dark side. And what can you hope for then? A last minute moment of redemption just before you die after you have slaughtered countless people. Yeah, I can completely see how parents and kids can do that to you.

May the force be with someone else because I’m not sure I want it.